Rules for dating a southern woman
If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. Do you say "Ma'am" and "Sir" without having to think about it? Do you know when to use the term "bless your heart"? Gramma may not have been born here, but as the saying goes, she got here as fast as she could. Never reply to a formal invitation in anything other than black ink.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range.
If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
For those of you hoping to pick up a few tips about how to be a Southern belle, remember this: a belle is born, not made.
To be a southern belle is to live life with subtle nuances of tradition and good manners that never go out of style.